Morning Routine
by bricksandstrings
Summary: Knowing how the twins had been awake all night Bill thought he would do the friendly thing and stop by and say hello. At the crack of dawn. Oneshot!


Nothing quite like an extremely fluffy oneshot to brighten the day.

I do not own Gravity Falls nor its characters.

Ok then have fun!

In Gravity Falls Oregon, the sun was just beginning to rise. Its soft rays peeking over the trees and illuminating their tops with its hazy glow while down below the canopy all was still quiet and dark. Not even the gnomes had awoken yet to begin their routine early morning queen hunt.

In a small clearing stood the Mystery Shack, its residents not awake either at such an early hour. In the attic lay the twins still fast asleep and wrapped up tight in their own respective dreamlands.

Which was a problem.

In a flash the color drained out of the room, down below the ticking of the grandfather clock ceased, and the gentle snores of Waddles the pig froze. He appeared assembling from the very dust of the room and the warping of shadows. The Dream Demon Bill Cipher.

"Surprise!" He cheered with enthusiastic jazz hands and a cloud of glitter just for Shooting Star. Only to find she and her brother had not awoken to the demon's grand entrance.

It may seem to some that this would have offended Bill but no worry, he wasn't bothered.

From a nonexistent pocked Bill pulled out a megaphone and took a moment to clear his throat.

"GOOOOOD MORNIN GRAVITY FALLS!" Bill shouted into the device.

Nope, still nothing.

Now Bill knew lots of things.

Lots of things.

Like for example Bill knew how the twins had been chased around the forest all day yesterday by a herd of unicorns with bad attitudes and very pointy horns on their heads. He also know that the twins had been up most of the night trying to drown out the sounds of a record player that had turned out to be cursed and played the same mariachi band record over and over until finally their Grunkles just drove it out to the bottomless pit and tossed it. And then Dipper found a bat under his bed.

Bill knew lots of things like how completely exhausted the twins were, hence why he thought he could show what a thoughtful and good friend he was by coming by at the crack of dawn to wish them a good morning.

What Bill apparently didn't know was just how deeply and exhausted preteen could sleep.

He stared at the two somewhat bewildered how they could sleep through a megaphone but hey, that just meant he could pull out the big guns.

By that he meant two large potato guns stuffed with confetti and those little popper things they sell on the 4th. of July and pop whenever they hit the ground.

Bill grabbed the lighter from Dipper's clutter of stuff on the ground and a can of hairspray from Mabel's dresser.

He prepped the weapons of mass noise and waited.

He almost felt like a conductor about to unleash beautiful symphony onto an audience.

BANG, BANG!

WOOSH!

POP,POP,POP,POP!

Followed by the wonderful smell of acrid smoke and singed paper. Truly artful.

Dipper gave a groan and that was about it.

Bill couldn't believe it.

In the end he sat down on the floor between their beds and just waited. It occurred to him at one point that the landscape around them was gray, so they were still in the mindscape? The kids were so tired they were asleep in their sleep! It gave Bill a long pause for thought on the reality of the situation.

About an hour later a fly buzzed into the room and landed on Dipper's nose, he sneezed his tiny kitten sneeze which made Mabel grown and throw a pillow at him, which Dipper threw right back before finally sitting up and giving a great yawn, his eyes never opening.

Bill was fascinated to say the least. He found himself following the stumbling Pine Tree out of the bedroom and nearly tripping down the staircase, he followed him all the way to the bathroom which was slammed promptly in his face. When Dipper came out he followed the boy back up to the bedroom where poor Mabel had finally gotten up but was half awake trying to dress herself. He quickly floated over to her to help untangle the little Shooting Star from her own sweater, guiding her head away from the sweater's sleeve and to the proper hole it was supposed to come out of. She tried to swat him away before giving up and accepting the help.

"hmmmsstop it kitty," she sleepily mumbled.

Kitty? He thought he was Bill?

Dipper had a much easier time getting dressed but with eyes still closed he couldn't find his hat. Bill looked to see it on top of a pile of unwashed clothes and grabbed it, running a hand though Dipper's hair to get rid of any tangles before plunking the hat firmly on its owner's head.

Meanwhile Mabel struggled in her half-awake state to get a brush through her hair, emitting a small whine when the brush hopelessly tangled up and hanging off the side of her head. Bill sighed and snapped his fingers making the brush reappear in his hand before brushing out Shooting Star's hair as gently as he could.

He followed them back downstairs, noticing the peaks of color at coming back to the ceiling first, then in some places drizzling down the walls like syrup. The twins entered the bathroom and brushed their teeth, Bill shrinking down to the size of a quarter and sitting on the handle of Dipper's toothbrush enjoying the weird sensation of the back and forth movement like some dollar kiddie ride at an arcade.

He followed them down to the kitchen where the twins sat down at the small table, moving in perfect unison to lay their heads in their arms. Bill sat down in the spare chair between the two of them and looked at the two of them. Around the kitchen more color was coming back, down the fridge and in the coffee cups stacked with already white plates in the sink. Yup, Stan would be here in 3...2...1

Stan Pines came walking through the door wrapped in a bathrobe and a smile, "Alright who wants Stancakes?!"

There was a soft pop as all the color returned and Bill left, the twins sat up in unison, "we do, we do!"

From his place in the mindscape Bill sighed, nothing like mornings.

Then end.


End file.
